It’s rough and tough out there on the mean streets. You never know quite what or who you’re going to meet out there on your lonely run.
Now I love a good nature documentary as much as the next man and I often visualise myself out there as an animal, sometimes as a lion proudly roaming my territory, sometimes as a giraffe, head brushing the tallest trees. Last week I was a buffalo, ever plodding along like I’m on a great migration. It’s early morning and a storm has just passed over. I can’t sleep so decide to go out for a run. About halfway through I find myself catching up to four youths so I cross the road to avoid them. As this large buffalo went past they became wolves and decided to follow me and then run along side me.
Now as we know wolves are faster than buffalo but they are more sprinters than distance runners. The alpha wolf snarled at me. “Oi, grandad, where you going?” The buffalo conserved his breath hoping that the young wolves would tire of this game. “Oi, I’m talking to you fat boy” At this point I remembered the documentary and did what any solitary male buffalo would do, I stopped and challenged them.
Perception is a strange thing, all the time I was plodding along panting for breath I became, in their eyes, a slow lumbering grey haired old man, easy prey As soon as I stopped I became a 220 lbs 6 ‘2″ larger than life buffalo. “What did you call me?” I asked the youth, tail starting to disappear between his legs. “Nothing” “Well piss off then” I turned and just like the buffalo lumbered back on course heading home.
It’s only when I got home that I thought that the situation could have turned out so differently. but there again next time I might be the lion and rip their heads off for entering my territory. 🙂