A memory of me and Technology

This is from 2 years ago and popped up in Facebook memories and still makes me smile.

New phone app on trial today, well new for me anyway.  Nike +.  Looks snazzy and loads of friends use it so I thought let’s give it a go. Has some features that Runkeeper, my usual app, doesn’t have so I’m all excited.  Signed up online and changed the settings to match me and I was ready.

August 22nd 2014, 5.00am

First run off we go, I had set the voice to female and she was a little sexier than the runkeeper lady so waiting for that first interval was tantalising.  “Your pace is 4 minutes 40 seconds” she read out. WHAT?  Am I suddenly an Olympic athlete?  I mean I felt good but that’s just crazy.  Next interval “Your pace is 4 minutes 32 seconds”  WHAT? WHAT? Oh by the way these are minutes per kilometre not minutes per mile:-).  I am on fire this morning, can I go faster?  “Your pace is 4 minutes 5 seconds”   Well everyone had to know about this.  “I AM A RUNNING GOD!!! I screamed out in the quiet street, “LOOK AT ME!  LOOK AT ME!”  A few lights went on in local houses as I moved past at my new incredible speed.  How fast could I run, I thought to myself.  “Your pace is 3 minutes 37 seconds”  SHUT UP!!  I looked back expecting a trail of fire behind me, but obviously the rain had put it out instantly.

As much as I wanted to believe this was actually happening there had to be another explanation, I couldn’t have turned from plodder to elite overnight.  I have been feeling ill for a few days, maybe I was dreaming.  No I wouldn’t dream of running in light drizzle on a cold morning.  Then it struck me.  I was running on my favourite route and I knew where I normally am when the pace splits come up and I was way off, a quick glance at my Garmin confirmed that the app thought I was 0.5 kilometre further ahead than I was. Damn! I knew it was too good to be true.  I was no longer a running god but recalibrated, my run was a 6:00 min/km pace overall, my fastest ever.  So not all bad news.

I’ll give the app another shot, she does have a sexy voice after all and it was my fault that it all went wrong.  Turns out that I had the nike+ app set to treadmill instead of outside, so it was with deep regret that I had to delete that run.  But one day I’ll hear that sexy voice say “Your pace is 4 minutes 30 seconds” and once again I shall become a running god!!

I still run hoping to match that time but now I have other priorities in running.


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